The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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