For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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