Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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