like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
