if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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