OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
