I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
