so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
