tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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