i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fuck appropriateness.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
