Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
