ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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