I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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