So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think my mom watched the whole time
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
