I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
