turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
