Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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