I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
