Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
