There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize