Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
