im holly from the hills drunk
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize