i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
