can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
