He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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