yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
