I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
