I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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