Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
