Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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