brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
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