just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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