Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and she was petting her beer can
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
