I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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