My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ttyl tear gas
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
