apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
