have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
operation have a gay friend backfired
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
