Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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