hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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