we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
