There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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