Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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