I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
