Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
