I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
