I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
