Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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