I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
