So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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