I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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