How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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