I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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