oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
