He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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