Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize