just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
