My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
